ESSENCE OF A GAMER

by c.J
published by Rinie 19 August 2009


We have chicken essence, we have fish essence... now we have the essence of a gamer! Your truly a gamer if you have done this before:


1. Try and ask out a girl using a video game pick-up line




You're bound to face rejection with a girl in one form or another, so you might as well have fun doing it. Approach to any girl you might be interested with and ask her out by going "Elf needs food badly!" Go all out and try to charm one with "I need help, and you are my master of unlocking." Granted, you'll probably get slapped or have a drink thrown on you, but at least you can say you did it. I did it =)


2. Perform something cool in Super Mario Bros



You have to admit that Super Mario Bros is indeed one of the best games ever made. You owe it to yourself to do something cool within the game. Find all the hidden rooms and warp pipes, see the ending where you FINALLY find the princess in her castle and perform the entertaining turtle shell trick where you rack up dozens of 1-ups in one shot. You earn double points if you try to find all the tricks in the Lost Levels sequel.


3. Spend more than RM500 on a video game item/system on Ebay.





Sure, you can drop rm50 on a game; that's so child's play. However, you're really cheating yourself if you don't go all out and buy some specialty item on the premiere online bidding service. Go ahead and buy a TurboDuo for $250, or maybe drop $400 on that sealed copy of Radiant Silvergun. You may not be able to take it with you, but at least you can say you had it good for a while.


4. Destroy an accessory or a game console



You know you can't take your game system with you (when you die) so why not trash it? Smash it against a wall so that whoever gets it in your will wonders what you've been drinking. This also counts for controllers and other accessories, in case you actually feel like playing your system another day. Ever seen a Wii remote taken apart? We have, and it's not a pretty sight.


5. Wait in line for a video game or hardware release



Video game lines are an institution amongst the hardcore. They're a great place to stand about and network with others, to show your shared devotion to an upcoming console release (like the Dreamcast) or a specific game (Grand Theft Auto IV, for example). You haven't lived until you've stood in one. Better still, take someone with you -- a friend, your wife, your kid -- and watch him or her try to figure out why you're doing it to begin with. Warning, some even queued up for the night to be the first to purchase a Playstation 3.